In the box of unsent cards my parents have kept to mark a family’s life, I find “Congratulations on Your New Addition!” Chosen no doubt for the next child who would arrive, the next name to stitch onto the quilt that hangs on the wall above my father’s chair, thirty-three names now, grandchildren and great-, names my parents no longer recall.
Nor faces, though family photos crowd the hallway. Even mine, staring out with the blue eyes that could be my father’s, a reminder that I belong to this couple and they to me. That we all belong, this gallery of strangers whose names are lost as soon as they are spoken, in the moment when the long distance calls end and the phone returns to its cradle. Return to the cradle, where above me my young mother leans, her mouth opening and closing and opening, releasing sounds, naming the world she creates for me: light, cat, flower, tree. And later the words that add, multiply, and divide that world: poplar, oak, birch, maple. As now I name the world she is losing, this woman pushing her walker beside me on the sidewalk, looking down, always down, so that I must lift her chin skyward, treeward.
“And what is that one?” she asks.
“Pear,” I say. “Blossoming.”
“And that one?”
“Crabapple.”
“Funny name,” she says, “for something so pretty.” She means the blooms, raucously pink against the March sky.
To the end of the block, then back again, she learns and relearns crabapple, pansy, tulip, lily of the valley (from the valley of her childhood), and by the time we make it home to their door, the names are gone I know not where. Even mine for a moment until I say it aloud—how strange it feels to say your own name aloud—and we unlock the door we’ve locked for my father, still asleep in his chair, his mouth agape as if in death or surprise or both, the left side drooping where the last stroke struck. Or the one before that or the one before that. One took his gait, another his easy laugh, another his writing hand that once signed documents and checks, composed letters to grandchildren and great.
Now I sign for him, power of attorney but I don’t want it, I want the power back where it belongs—in him, in Mother, the powers that be, that were. Once, in an East Village studio, I watched a puppeteer’s dark-shadowed play: A white-masked figure at a table where a teapot and two glasses are set. He pours tea into a glass, sips. Soon a figure masked in an animal skull—Death, for certain—enters the room. They sit together, share tea and silent conversation. Each time the white-faced man shifts his gaze, Death steals something else—a glass, the other glass, a spoon, the teapot, the face of the man himself. In the end the two exchange faces, and the man’s face, now the face of Death, lifts off and out of the scene.
A great poet wrote, “There is no end, but addition: the trailing/consequence of further days and hours.” Truth is, I could sign a new card each day to my parents—“Sorry for Your Subtractions”—and never reach an end: the planes you flew, the students you taught, the horses you rode, the driver’s licenses and voter registrations, the golf clubs, the books, the quilts you stitched, all the beds where you bedded down together, the parents you buried and the baby daughter too, the wedding dresses you sewed for the daughters who survived, all four of us, whose names you cannot recall. The faces of your grandchildren, the neighbors you waved goodbye to. Your last car, your last house. The green lawn with its sharply perfect edge.
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Rebecca McClanahan has published ten books, most recently The Tribal Knot: A Memoir of Family, Community, and a Century of Change and a revised edition of Word Painting: The Fine Art of Writing Descriptively. The recipient of the Wood Prize from Poetry, a Pushcart Prize, the Glasgow Award for nonfiction, and four fellowships from the New York Foundation for the Arts and the North Carolina Arts Council, McClanahan teaches in the MFA programs of Queens University (Charlotte) and Rainier Writing Workshop as well as the Kenyon Review Writers Workshop.
Photo by Heather Kresge
19 comments
Joanne says:
May 16, 2017
So poignantly beautiful, the sense of time running backward measured by the losses that accumulate, the contrast between a sharply edged lawn and the imperfection of Death’s thievery.
sudeep says:
May 26, 2017
well put
Malcolm Cowburn says:
May 16, 2017
Thank you for this vivid account of memory and loss. I am strongly affected by its clarity and the personal resonances that it evokes. To detail my appreciation of your techniques and skill would be to lose your work. This is enough, once again thanks.
Renee E. D'Aoust says:
May 16, 2017
This has so much in such a small space… a breadth of expression and loss, a depth of detail and warmth. Thank you so much for this beautiful and poignant piece.
Irene Hoge Smith says:
May 16, 2017
You’ve made them so real, Rebecca, that I mind all these losses with extra sharpness.
Sarah says:
May 17, 2017
You capture the depth of your relationship with them and the difficulty of losing them with such beauty and honesty. I ache for your situation, and am captivated by the way you tell it. Wonderful story.
Judy Labensohn says:
May 17, 2017
Very strong.
marcia aldrich says:
May 17, 2017
gifted
TERRY L says:
May 17, 2017
touching and powerful
Darlene O'Dell says:
May 18, 2017
Blown away by what you’ve done here. The interweaving . . . of math, naming, death, quilting and stitching, of memory and its dissolution, of calls and recalls, and of the acts of opening and closing . . . into the long rhythms of life is truly remarkable, particularly for such a short piece. More importantly, you never allowed your intense attention to form to beat out the life force of the work. Thank you.
Gita V. Reddy says:
May 23, 2017
Like dry leaves slowly swirling down.
Beth Ann Fennelly says:
Jun 20, 2017
Really lovely and moving.
Marianne Janack says:
Jun 28, 2017
Thanks for this gift you’ve given us, Rebecca.
Kevin Kilborn says:
Jul 4, 2017
As my family progresses through all the stages of life I find solace in writing about their lives. I found ‘Math Lesson’, both poignant and exceptionally crafted. It is a familiar reflection from a novel perspective-kudos.
Mary Gustafson says:
Jul 20, 2017
so moving. such an elegant description of this parental decline experience. Thank you for sharing so deeply.
Lois Karlin says:
Jul 22, 2017
Beautiful, Rebecca, and having read some of your earlier essays about mother and father, this stands in stark contrast to their vivid lives and your own, as a result. Powerful.
Rebecca says:
Jul 26, 2017
Thank you all for these comments. This is every writer’s dream, to have readers who respond. These brief pieces are part of a series I am working on now, and your responses cheer me on. (On a personal level, I lost my father last October, but I still write in present tense, perhaps to keep him alive in my mind. Another blessing of our writing craft, yes? To keep the people–and places, and events–alive in our minds.)
Margaret says:
Sep 3, 2017
So powerful, Rebecca. I look forward to reading more in the series.
Megan Macarelli says:
Jul 15, 2018
“Math Lesson” by Rebecca McClanahan begins with, “In the box of unsent cards my parents have kept to mark a family’s life, I find ‘Congratulations on Your New Addition!’ As I reflect on this piece, I’m left with the impression that the card she mentions was quite possibly the catalyst that sparked the author’s work. “Math Lesson” captures the author’s deeply personal and painful experience of witnessing her parents’ cognitive and physical decline due to advanced age and ill health: a series of strokes suffered by her dad and most likely the onset of dementia for Rebecca’s mother. These illnesses have stolen her parents’ memories and even their words, the things by which we all “add, multiply, and divide” …[our] “world”. Rebecca’s story finds its form and structure by connecting these life events with math’s unchangeable laws of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division.
In a few short passages Rebecca conveys the story of her parents’ full, satisfying and meaningful lives. Also evident is a sense of her love and respect for her parents and a deep sense of loss, the “subtractions”. You not only sense her personal loss, but her well-chosen words convey a feeling of outrage for them because of all the “subtractions” as the memory of their lives as husband and wife, and mother and father are stolen. And the approach of the ultimate thief, death, is obviously weighing on the author’s heart as she shares her memory of an East Village play where Death, personified, stole all objects in sight and eventually the man’s life.
I connected with Rebecca’s story on very personal level because I lost my own father three years ago. For this reason, I’m familiar with some of the “Math Lessons” the author describes, in particular the “subtractions”.