Variant

(the last conversation with Austin, revisited)

                                               

for          beloved               

read         broken

read       fleeting

                           burden

                           inured

for          we

read       you

                                               

for          I know I forgot your birthday                   

read       grow accustomed to absence

 

for          home   

                read       illness

 

for          I’m sorry                                            

read       subterfuge

read       sunlight

transference

tomorrow

 

for          epiphany

                read       futile

 

for          I’ll call you soon

read       your phone will ring

read       you will say “fuck”

                                father will cry “I know”

 

for          invisible                                              

read       unnamed

                                               

for          when your semester is over

read       I am trying to be considerate

read       they will not find my body until

 

for          three    

read       two

 

for          it doesn’t feel like Christmastime

read       mother has purchased my favorite candies

                                they will fill your stocking instead

 

—

Elizabeth Wade holds degrees from Davidson College and the University of Alabama. She serves as Managing Editor of NANO Fiction, and her work has appeared in such journals as Kenyon Review Online, AGNI, and others. She currently teaches literature and writing courses at the University of Mary Washington. (Elizabeth Wade discusses the origin of this essay and its form on the Brevity blog.)

Photography by Michael McKniff