“Dale,” the restaurant’s hostess calls from her list, and because it’s been five years I don’t look up. My brother’s dead, and no hostess will raise him or call him forth to claim one last omelet. I’d like to see him cross the foyer of rustling people-filled benches though, have him share in this Sunday morning buzzing energy. Hear him complain about the wait, feel his pockets for smokes, say “don’t give me that look” before stepping outside. I want to call his name, say it out loud like the hostess says it: quick and easy. Dale. Hey Dale, what are you doing? Dale, want to come over? Dale, can I come over? Dale will you, can you?
It was a bleak, watery day the last time I drove north and then further north to his cabin in the woods, desperate to see the state of his life or non-life for myself. He didn’t rise from the one comfortable chair when I walked in, didn’t turn his head to offer welcome or hello. A still life: barefoot, shirt but no pants, beer bottles and cigarettes and ashtray within reach. Even the smells suspended, unwashed, motionless. Piled mail. The place hazy with cigarette smoke. I watched him light the wrong end of a cigarette and take a puff and another puff before turning it around. His tired, unkempt, also hazy-with-cigarette smoke dog a shadow next to his chair. Scrambled eggs hunks amongst the unwashed plates in the sink, the grimy knives and forks. I boiled the flatware—it was that bad—scrubbed the rest so I could make him a meal: chicken and rice to make everything nice again. I picked through and tossed the gunk so the drain could run clear. He didn’t remember making eggs he told me. Thought he might have puked in the sink.
Dale Michael. Dale had a lopsided grin. Dale played catch with me. Dale grew up and married and worked and divorced and married and worked and divorced two more times, and just got tired of it all I guess. Dale shot his dishwasher. Dale got pulled over. Dale this and Dale that. Dale said he wouldn’t but did, and promised but didn’t. Dale has a broken liver; Dale’s kidneys don’t work. Dale is almost sure who I am. Says, “sister.” Pauses. “You’re my sister.” He eats his napkin along with his pudding, he sees dancing girls in his room at night. He doesn’t get better. Dale won’t answer no matter how many times his name is called.
__
Joanne Nelson’s writing has appeared in the museum of americana, Midwestern Gothic, Consequence, Redivider and elsewhere. Her work has aired on WUWM, her local NPR affiliate and she enjoys leading retreats on a variety of writing and mindfulness topics. Nelson lives in Hartland, WI, where she develops and leads community programs, maintains a psychotherapy practice, and adjuncts. She holds an MFA from the Bennington Writing Seminars and an MSSW from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
Photo by Paul Bilger
24 comments
Jan Priddy says:
Sep 16, 2019
I feel it. Thank you for trying.
Joanne Nelson says:
Sep 24, 2019
Thanks Jan. I so appreciate this.
Cathy Pierzina says:
Sep 16, 2019
Love, pain, resignation and your signature sarcasm: “chicken and rice to make everything nice again.” This is family. This is art!
Joanne Nelson says:
Sep 24, 2019
Yes! All that’s missing is chocolate! Thanks, Cathy!
Jeanne says:
Sep 18, 2019
Joanne, this is gorgeous. Makes me wish I’d met Dale, even just once.
Joanne Nelson says:
Sep 24, 2019
Oops, Sorry Jeanne–somehow I commented below the next comment. Sigh.
Carol Wobig says:
Sep 18, 2019
Beautiful piece,Joanne. Congratulations.
Joanne Nelson says:
Sep 24, 2019
Hi Jeanne, Thanks for recognizing that there were many fine moments with my brother!I miss his laugh!
Joanne Nelson says:
Sep 24, 2019
Thanks Carol!!
Jeff says:
Sep 20, 2019
Wow. This is stunning.
Joanne Nelson says:
Sep 25, 2019
Thank you!
Andréa says:
Sep 22, 2019
None of us escapes death. It is a universal experience, yet unique to each and every one of us. This was heartbreakingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with the world.
Joanne Nelson says:
Sep 25, 2019
Thank you–this is so thoughtful, and much appreciated.
Lorraine Comanor says:
Sep 22, 2019
Very poignant
Joanne Nelson says:
Sep 25, 2019
Thank you
Kimberly says:
Sep 23, 2019
Wow. This is gorgeous.
Joanne Nelson says:
Sep 25, 2019
Thanks Kimberly!
Sandy Brand says:
Oct 5, 2019
A sobering piece and very real.
Joanne Nelson says:
Jan 3, 2020
Thank you!
Jenny Bilskie-Smith says:
Dec 4, 2019
This is beautiful. I really appreciate how you made it about Dale, and not your efforts to repair Dale, although, I’m sure you did what you could. You brought him to life for the reader while capturing the confusion of addiction can be for loved ones to watch. Thank you for sharing.
Joanne Nelson says:
Jan 3, 2020
Thanks Jenny, this is much appreciated.
Joanna Brichetto says:
Dec 10, 2019
This is beautiful, powerful.
Before I’d finished the first paragraph had to start over and do it properly: aloud.
Thank you.
Joanne Nelson says:
Jan 3, 2020
Thanks Joanna!
Emma Parten says:
Jan 11, 2020
This is what language is for! You captured so much about Dale and his complexities in a few careful paragraphs. Thank you for sharing your life, and his too. Beautiful!