His mother dies three weeks before the end of the quarter. A boy, a good student: he emails me to tell me the news, asks permission to be absent. Of course, I say, take as much time as you need. I tell him he can withdraw, take an incomplete, but he promises to be back in class next week. And he is.
I see him settled into his accustomed seat, his wire-rimmed glasses nestled securely on his nose, his khaki shirt buttoned, his feet encased in battered running shoes. I catch his eye, and we nod to one another, understanding. He needs to be here. The students flanking him know he needs to be here. A bright thread of tenderness coils around us.
We’ve been talking about white space. About the necessity of pause, of absence. The power of the gap. Of what is unsaid and unspeakable. I have nothing much more to tell them, these students who are winding their way toward their final projects, so I allow them to work with each other, to mull and brainstorm while I walk among them.
The boy sits attentively in his circle, making astute comments to the others. He leans forward on the small desk, crosses his forearms, tilts his head. I’ve told the students to be playful in this project, to use other media, to see it as a performance of all we’ve been learning about lyric forms. As a professor, I rarely feel in control, always feel like an imposter, that there’s been a mistake. But with this particular class, there’s a give and take in our discussions, an ease to our camaraderie; we’ve somehow become teachers to one another.
When the time comes for the presentations, the students rise to the task. One girl unfurls a quilt with sections of her essay printed on each square; she tells us she and her mom and her sisters stitched together this story of family over Thanksgiving. One girl has made her own soap and buried scraps of her essay inside the rough-hewn cakes. She brings in bowls of water and towels, asks us to wash our hands with her essay while she reads about shame, about wanting to be cleansed. She begins to cry, and I finish the recital for her.
The boy has brought in play-dough, small cans of it that he drops on each desk. He asks us to take the lump and squeeze it in our fists. That’s all, just squeeze, then he gathers them up and puts these little sculptures on display at the front table. Each lump looks different, unique, modeling the individual shapes of our palms, the ridges from our inner knuckles.
The boy stands aside and begins to read, his voice soft at first then growing more forceful. He asks us: What is the shape of emptiness? Then he pauses, allows the question to remain unanswered. We gaze at our playdough impressions, see how we all have different ways to hang on. He made visible the air we never see. The shape of our holding, our hollow spaces pressed into clay. The form of the word, please.
Years from now, this boy will become a man. He’ll marry and have two children, and I’ll see the pictures on Facebook. He’ll be my friend in the way many of us are friends these days: through screens and updates and thumbs-up. On the anniversary of his mother’s death, he posts pictures, her face so like his own. I wonder if he remembers our classroom, the large windows that looked out toward the bay, the way light filtered in and made us all pause. I’ll watch his hands as he carries one baby, then another, and see how full they have become.
But for now, when he finishes reading, he gathers our hands and gives them back to us one by one. We take them from him carefully, so we can carry our emptiness into the day. We compare them, showing off the shapes of our grasping. Curled like prayers. Like anger. Like love.
__
Brenda Miller is the author of five essay collections, most recently An Earlier Life. She also co-authored Tell It Slant: Creating, Refining and Publishing Creative Nonfiction and The Pen and The Bell: Mindful Writing in a Busy World. She lives and works in Bellingham, WA, with her dog Abbe and a rotating posse of foster dogs that find their new families through Happy Tails Happy Homes. She teaches creative writing at Western Washington University and the Rainier Writing Workshop.
Photo by Dinty W. Moore
52 comments
Darci Petrov says:
Sep 15, 2017
Wow. That was beautiful
Sejal Shah says:
Sep 15, 2017
This is so beautiful–the classroom, the clay, the boy, the quilt, the bright thread of tenderness coiling. I want to read it again.
julie cooper-fratrik says:
Sep 17, 2017
I agree with Sejal; this is a beautifully thought and beautifully written essay. I look forward to reading more of Brenda Miller’s work! Thank you.
Sarah Freligh says:
Sep 18, 2017
You’re in for a treat! Be sure to read “Swerve.”
Cindy says:
Sep 17, 2017
Beautiful story. The picture of him holding children in the hands that were empty is such a lovely way to picture life cycles, change, and growth.
Ann bodle-nash says:
Sep 17, 2017
Beautiful Brenda. Gorgeous, tender, concise, generous.
Margaret MacInnis says:
Sep 18, 2017
Gorgeous essay, Brenda.
Nancy Brown says:
Sep 18, 2017
Oh, Brenda a story beautifully rendered, love the artistic way you wove past and presnt because thats how mwmories are, beautiful images. I will hold this story for a long while. Thank you.
Laurie Lynn Drummond says:
Sep 18, 2017
Brenda, this is stunning. Deeply deeply so. I have tears in my eyes and my heart is full. Thank you.
Joanne Marie says:
Sep 18, 2017
So tenderly beautiful.
Sarah Freligh says:
Sep 18, 2017
Breathless. Beautiful.
Pam Parker says:
Sep 18, 2017
So tender and lovely. Thank you so much.
Kim Steutermann Rogers says:
Sep 18, 2017
Exquisite.
Brian Baker says:
Sep 18, 2017
Wow, this is good. This is so good.
Susan Wigoda says:
Sep 18, 2017
This is stunning Brenda. Thank you.
Jasminne says:
Sep 19, 2017
Excellent Brenda! I love it!!!
Blake says:
Sep 19, 2017
Applause echoes around and through these comments. Can you hear it Brenda?
Danita Berg says:
Sep 19, 2017
Thank you for this.
Hayley says:
Sep 21, 2017
So incredibly moving–a joy to read. What a wonderful writer and teacher you are.
Ann Guido says:
Sep 21, 2017
Gorgeous! a jewel in a pinky ring.
randal doane says:
Sep 22, 2017
Good stuff: the story and the assignment. Just enough structure in the final project for real freedom.
Karen says:
Sep 27, 2017
Stunning, Brenda Miller shares so much in a small space. Poignant essay.
Wendy says:
Sep 29, 2017
Stunning, the way you have captured the loss and grief through the sensation of molding play doh. “A bright thread of tenderness coils around us.” “We compare them, showing off the shapes of our grasping. Curled like prayers. Like anger. Like love.” These sentences particularly struck me…like making a mandala. I can’t wait to share this with my writing students.
X says:
Oct 8, 2017
I honestly picked this article to read for a summary and connection for my college english class and i am very surprised by this article. This actually moved and intrigued me, not just the premise of the article but also with the emotional movement of the narrator. Bringing light to the one question i can never find an answer to.
Susan Balée says:
Oct 11, 2017
Wow. Perfectly sculpted.
Spuds says:
Oct 12, 2017
Great flash fiction- just enough meat to make it a meal but to leave you with an appetite for a second helping. Now I will digest.
Dinty says:
Oct 12, 2017
This lovely essay is NONfiction, as in NOT-fiction. Otherwise, we agree.
Paul says:
Oct 13, 2017
There are no words. Wonderful writing. Thank you for sharing.
Joy Gaines-Friedler says:
Oct 18, 2017
A bunch of years ago I had the chance to work with Brenda at a writers’ conference in Detroit. But, man… to be in her classroom! Wow and wish.
Sofia Benbahmed says:
Oct 19, 2017
I am not much of a cryer; this has me in tears. It’s absolutely stunning. Thank you for writing it, and thank you for sharing it. I feel human reading it.
Hugo says:
Oct 23, 2017
It was good.
Lindy Flynn says:
Oct 25, 2017
I’ll carry this story forever in my heart. Thank you. Might you ever do an online class? Am often with family in Nelson BC
Joanna says:
Oct 26, 2017
Whoa. Stunning. Beautiful. Poignant.
Jennifer Longociu says:
Oct 31, 2017
Wow. You describe something that can’t be described. Yet there it is.
Deanna Schrayer says:
Nov 4, 2017
Beautifully poignant, Brenda, I feel blessed to have been able to read this.
Ben Winderman says:
Nov 8, 2017
I read a William Faulkner story last night and was profoundly inspired by this work as Faulkner’s as well. Im not comparing the two only sharing that this essay makes me want to write more than Faulkner’s stories ever do. This essay invites my heart and my mind; I rsvp affirmatively and sit down to my turn.
Sandra says:
Nov 10, 2017
What a beautiful piece. I use your Braided Essay in my creative nonfiction class, and I love the weaving here, too.
Susan says:
Nov 17, 2017
Could be one of the most touching essays I have ever read…
Sunny J. Reed says:
Nov 21, 2017
The essence of grief in just a few words. Love it.
Cecile Callan says:
Dec 8, 2017
The image of lined up palm-shaped clay sculptures, each made individual with only a pressing. The essay bits within soap to cleanse shame.The empty spaces given shape by how we hold on. The years providing children to fill in. All of it fragile and beautiful. Thank you.
Liz Netto says:
Dec 10, 2017
What a magic trick this is! Can’t stop thinking about it. Beautiful.
Chelsea says:
Jan 5, 2018
Gorgeous!
Laine Meadows says:
Jan 7, 2018
Love it. Like the clay sculptures, it is art.
Allison Hong Merrill says:
Jan 10, 2018
So beautiful. Just beautiful!
Nicole says:
Mar 20, 2018
This is a beautiful essay. Thank you.
Nina Gaby says:
Sep 16, 2018
Just re-read and breathless all over again…
Portia Mabaso says:
Dec 10, 2018
I’ve read this piece many times than i can count. I’ve read many beautiful things but this is outstanding
Adam says:
Feb 6, 2020
Hey! I did college at WWU. The brief mention of that beautiful bay got to me most.
Emma Miao says:
Jun 25, 2021
This is a stunning essay. Thank you, Brenda—wow.
Belle Ree says:
Nov 1, 2022
“We’ve been talking about white space. About the necessity of pause, of absence.”
The need to sit down and stare at nothing until you finally collected yourself mid-air.
vicki w says:
May 8, 2023
Lovely work, the images of the clay carried forward now in my head and carried forward.
Preston says:
Sep 17, 2024
Woah. I think the shape of emptiness is a triangle