A year-and-a-half ago, I wrote a craft essay for Brevity about being a literary late-bloomer and finishing my first manuscript, an essay collection about my relationships, in my forties. In the piece, I said I was “done” with my book. Since then I’ve received encouraging feedback from agents and editors, but no solid bites. Over time, I realized my manuscript wasn’t finished yet, despite many months of editing, but I felt stuck on how to proceed. An editor who requested my manuscript said if I wanted to maintain the format, I needed to expand personal stories into a broader conversation about the current state of womanhood, but that topic wasn’t driving me. Then I found an editor whose vision aligned with my own.
When Joshua Mohr of Decant Editorial advised that I zoom in on key scenes, making the book more personal instead of less, his advice resonated. The original manuscript consisted of seventeen chronological, standalone pieces. After I moved a juicy bit from page seventy-six to page one, we began the freeing task of assembling a puzzle that was more precise, more identity-illuminating, and no longer linear. Setting values to characters resulted in a few people appearing in more than one chapter and others being served their walking papers. I toiled to ensure each chapter contributed something new to an ongoing, cohesive conversation.
I learned to not be afraid to cut huge swaths of decent writing if the material wasn’t moving the story forward and shedding light on my emotional trajectory, as “memoirs are always an investigation,” Mohr said. Once I started making tough decisions about what was “earning its space,” it became obvious that four essays I had diligently crafted—one for seven years—were no longer needed. Meticulous dialogue, tornadoes, a sudden death, a doozy of a New Year’s Eve, an atrocious haircut that solidified my resolve to move, and the unlikely prophecy of an obnoxious stranger on a pier all got axed. Somewhere is a crowded cemetery replete with precious darlings I don’t miss.
Another Mohr gem: “Build a collage of stories that don’t necessarily seem like they fit together, and figure out why they do.” In one chapter, I seesaw between scenes a few years apart, one in which I’m rebounding from lost love and another when I’m the target of someone else’s rebound. Each section ends with a mini, momentary cliffhanger. In another chapter, I intersperse my tale of first love with my experience teaching high school, reflecting on a teenager who reminded me of my first boyfriend. There I found the “organic triggers” between past and present.
I wrote scenes that never happened as a “what-if” technique; I created wedding vows I should have written and spoken; I envisioned an anniversary party that never transpired; and I approximated a breakup’s dialogue that I can no longer remember, keeping the reader abreast of what was fabricated.
I raised tricky questions without clear-cut answers, compelling the reader to be an active adjudicator. For instance: Having never had a child—a lifelong desire—is being an aunt, a dog owner, and a pseudo-parent to other children enough? Is it better to have a child with the wrong person or not at all?
When writing about past relationships, Mohr said to shortcut origin stories and nix long goodbyes. This has been challenging for me from the get-go. In workshops, I’ve always received the same note: “We want to hear more about you.” Mohr said, “When you’re writing about people who’ve left your life, they don’t have to say goodbye to the book.” So I jettisoned the where-are-they-nows.
Along these same lines, I tried to be economical about events involving other people if they were only tangential to my path. “Be true to your vision and what you feel comfortable including about other people. Ethically, where does that fall?” Mohr asked.
The end result is a manuscript that’s eighteen thousand words shorter than the original, with a boatload of new content, including a chapter about my immediate family, my present-day voice where pertinent, and material I was terrified to explore but knew I must.
When I’ve heard authors say they’ve rewritten their books more than once, starting from page one, I’ve thought, “There’s no way I could do that.” But I did, and I’m grateful. Now I relish the lengthy process and trust it. It can’t be forced. I’m putting in the work and letting aha! moments unfold naturally. As a result, I’m journeying to enlightening places I never thought possible.
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Chelsey Drysdale is a writer and editor in Southern California. Her essays have appeared in The Washington Post, The Manifest-Station, Bustle, Brevity, Ravishly, Black Fox Literary Magazine, Luna Luna Magazine, Reservoir Journal, Book Lovers: Sexy Stories from Under the Covers, and other international publications. She is a Best of the Net Anthology nominee and has been twice nominated for the Pushcart Prize.
28 comments
Margaret Feike says:
Jan 15, 2018
I so enjoyed reading your delightfully instructive, hope-filled essay (talk about a late bloomer – I’m in my late fifties and often feel like giving up). I especially love your “what if” technique. Guess I better turn off Dr. Phil and get back at it.
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Jan 23, 2018
Thanks, Margaret. We are proof that it’s never too late. Keep writing.
Mashaw says:
Jan 15, 2018
Thank you, Chelsey. You lay it all out so clearly. While reading this, the lightbulb went on for me multiple times. Thank you for contributing your personal examples of this often mistifying process.
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Jan 23, 2018
Cool! Thank you! I love when those lightbulbs flicker. Glad I could help.
Nina Boug Lichtenstein says:
Jan 16, 2018
Chelsey, thanks for sharing this story! It’s so good to hear about the journey and have so many important points reiterated. Now, back to writing. (I keep reading compulsively ABOUT writing, and see through my own avoidance to actually get to writing!) Argh..
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Jan 23, 2018
Nina, I find myself doing the same thing all the time: reading other people’s writing! It’s all about the balance because we have to do both, right? Thank you!
Ryder Ziebarth says:
Jan 18, 2018
Perfect timing. I’m in the midst, cutting and pasting on the dining room table–horrified and gleeful at the pages on the floor. Thanks for the encouragement to fetch the wastepaper basket and a new word Doc.
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Jan 23, 2018
Yes! I love the image of throwing physical pages out. So freeing. I’m not one of those people who cuts and pastes hard copies on the floor, so I’m always fascinated when someone else does. Cheers!
Nancy says:
Jan 18, 2018
Thank you for telling this! It inspires other memoirists, self included, to keep going and dig for the real stuff, the truth. My best takeaway from this is to find a good, effective editor who can lead you through the forest of planted experiences and autobiographical data to meaningful memoir. Patience is a must. My memoir, Under the Birch Tree (due out in June) took time and many rewrites to extract the memoir part.
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Jan 23, 2018
Nancy, congratulations on your memoir! What a lovely title. You should be so proud of such a huge accomplishment. I hope to be in your position one day soon. I can’t say enough good things about finding the right editor to guide you through the process. I’m a better writer for it. Enjoy your upcoming well-earned publication.
Linda Ruggeri says:
Jan 18, 2018
Thank you Chelsey, you’re experience resonates a lot with the work I do as an editor. The first book I published, I co-authored (per the author’s request.) Ed (83, ex-military, conservative, no experience in writing) had written a memoir about his grandfather, but the original piece I was given was tediously technical and lacked emotion, a story line and depth.
It was hard to “delicately” convey the message “we want to know about YOU, YOUR memories about your grandfather and how YOU felt about things.
When revising the manuscript Ed was very afraid of saying anything negative about anyone, so all the characters were “pure and nice.” I told Ed it would be hard to sell “pure and nice” since we want to identify with the struggle, the hardships and root for the protagonist until they redeem themselves (if they ever do). He struggled a lot with that, but finally understood what moved his story forward and that we would need to go through many rounds of re-writing to get it right and make it interesting to the average historical memoir reader.
Ed’s “letting go” moment (which I considered my greatest achievement) was that I begged for any “dirt” on Grandpa Charly, and he finally relayed the story of how one day, Grandpa Charly had gone into downtown Ripon (rural Wisconsin), to visit a friend who had a bakery and made these amazing glazed donuts. Charly had so many of them that he came home, sick, made Grandma Hulda angry for missing supper and spent the next day in the barn, in shame. Cute story, but was that really what happened?
Turns out, after consulting with other cousins and family members, that was the version they told the kids. The “other/truer” version was that an uncle had stopped by, picked up Grandpa Charly and took him out to one of the local taverns. Grandpa Charly drank more than his evangelical faith and small town considered appropriate, embarrassed himself, the family and most of all his wife. Add to that, that it was during the Prohibition… and finally, THAT was a story.
Sometimes it’s hard for writers to look deep inside and let go when needed, putting our life experiences (pleasant and unpleasant ones) out there. But usually those stories are the ones we can relate to, the ones that make us better people, more “human” and which others enjoy.
Congratulations on your new manuscript! I look forward to seeing more of your work soon!
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Jan 23, 2018
Thank you for sharing this terrific story. You’re right. “Pure and nice” gets you nowhere. Hard truths and deep emotions are the key. Thanks!
Vince says:
Jan 22, 2018
Thank you, Chelsey, for sharing your process and reflecting on your writing. I am in this phase right now: “the freeing task of assembling a puzzle that was more precise, more identity-illuminating, and no longer linear.” It’s so reassuring to know that this challenge is not unique to me and that there is a way to work with the puzzle!
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Jan 23, 2018
The struggle is real, isn’t it? It’s a universal challenge for writers, and I’m afraid it’s never going to get easier. Best of luck to you!
Christine says:
Jan 28, 2018
Thanks, Chelsey. I haven’t heard many people talk about this part of the process. It’s encouraging to read about your experience. I’m working on a first draft of a manuscript, and it feels like a journal, with no narrative pull or momentum. Thinking of the process as you describe it here gives me hope. It’s okay to first get everything down, then craft.
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Jan 30, 2018
Exactly, Christine! One step at a time, and don’t think too far ahead. It’s much more overwhelming that way. As a perfectionist, I was a longtime writer who didn’t write. What changed that was having an earlier mentor who said, “It’s just a draft!” Whatever you write can be fixed later.
Elizabeth says:
Jan 31, 2018
I was imploring the universe for help today in getting back to a memoir I’ve been working on for years in stops and starts. And here it is! Thank you for this.
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Feb 3, 2018
Wonderful! I love that.
Ann Elizabeth Robertson says:
Apr 9, 2018
This is brilliant! I love how you held to your vision even while your focus broadened in places and narrowed its spaces until you were where your essays were meant to be.
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Apr 18, 2018
Thank you!
Meghan Weyerbacher says:
Apr 17, 2018
Good work!
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Apr 18, 2018
I appreciate it!
Melanie Griffin says:
Apr 22, 2018
Such hard work! It keeps me from getting beyond the first chapter, over and over. I can’t find my themes! Sounds like you did a great job. Congrats. And thanks for the insights!
Chelsey Drysdale says:
Apr 30, 2018
Your hard work will pay off. Trust me! Don’t stop. Thank you!
Rose says:
May 19, 2018
Thank you so much for your insightful informations. It does help
Jean Steffey says:
Aug 14, 2018
Thanks Chelsea, I just read this on August 13th. I am seventy now and have written and rewritten about my father’s suicide for thirty years. I have so many renditions. I want to give up writing about something that happened when I was sixteen. You have given me new ideas to try again. Thank-you. I tend to be very non linear so I will try that. Any ideas would be welcome. Should I through all the tying on the floor and see what happens? I really would like to finish it before I die.
Leslie Knowlton says:
Mar 26, 2021
Hi Jean,
Just saw your post. Wrote my critical thesis on this topic. Would love to connect! [email protected].
Best,
Leslie
Leslie Knowlton says:
Mar 26, 2021
Cheryl,
This is such a great post! I particularly appreciated the paragraph about doing all the “what-if” writing. I look forward to reading the result when it comes out, which I hope it will!
Best,
Leslie