1. He’s friendly.
2. He never does that.
3. That’s his way of playing.
4. He’s still learning.
5. Pookie, come here.
6. He’s not so good on recall.
7. Pookie’s still learning how to listen, isn’t he?
8. Watch out for his leash!
9. Pookie, come! Come, Pookie! Are you listening? If you don’t come right now, Pookie, we’re going to have to leave the park. Do you want to leave the park, Pookie?
10. I’ve never seen him do that before.
11. That’s his play growl. Pookie loves to play.
12. It’s best not to look him in the eye.
13. Pookie, you’ve got the lady all tangled up in your leash!
14. No jumping, Pookie.
15. Pookie just wants to give kisses, don’t you, Pookie?
16. He’s a jumper.
17. Did Pookie get mud on the lady with those big muddy paws?
18. Pookie, no!
19. Usually, he likes kids.
20. Pookie, I said no!
—
Lise Funderburg is the author of Pig Candy: Taking My Father South, Taking My Father Home, a contemplation of life, death, race, and barbecue, and the groundbreaking oral history, Black, White, Other: Biracial Americans Talk About Race and Identity, which was recently released in an updated 20th anniversary edition. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Chattahoochee Review, Cleaver, National Geographic, TIME, and Prevention. She is a lecturer in creative nonfiction at The University of Pennsylvania and Rutgers University.
Photo by Dinty W. Moore
20 comments
Abigail says:
Sep 19, 2017
this is perfect. I laughed about 20 times.
Jayne Martin says:
Sep 23, 2017
Love this. I think I’ve met Pookie.
Mardith Louisell says:
Sep 29, 2017
Absolutely perfect. And what about the owners who spend all their time at the beach, yelling at the dog. Love that. Makes the beach so much fun.
Claudia Monpere says:
Oct 1, 2017
Fabulous! I laughed out loud. I avoid any dogs whose owners say “Oh, don’t worry. . .”
suzy beal says:
Oct 2, 2017
Loved it. I have scars to prove that dog does bite. Don’t listen to the owners.
You’ve hit the nail on the head.
Suzy Beal
Pat Wild says:
Oct 5, 2017
I’ve heard all these comments but never found the humor in them until I read this piece. Well done.
Nina Gaby says:
Oct 19, 2017
#12. I’m dying here.
Lori says:
Oct 19, 2017
Oh, this is so true!
Emma says:
Nov 2, 2017
I have a question was this a list of excuses or a conversation with another dog owner?
Emma says:
Nov 2, 2017
because without the bullet points it seems like a conversation
Lise Funderburg says:
Nov 17, 2017
Hi Emma. This was a list of things I’ve heard people say (repeatedly) over the years. So it was a collection of comments from multiple incidents/experiences.
Jane Medved says:
Dec 13, 2017
I love this. I think I actually own Pookie. Sorry everyone.
Carolyn McClain says:
Dec 17, 2017
Delightful! I can only add one which is just “Pookie….” “Pookie…” “POOOkie…” ad infinitem.
Jan Priddy says:
Jan 3, 2018
When a dog owner has to say “Sorry!” every time they run their dog, it’s time to put a leash on it.
Kristina says:
Jan 19, 2018
POOKIE!
Sejal Shah says:
Mar 12, 2018
Lise, I loved this! Reminded me of walking by the dog park(s?) in Carl Schurz Park and just in general in the parks and sidewalks of the UES when I lived there. So sorry to have missed hearing/seeing you this weekend, but love reading this now.
Nick says:
Feb 6, 2019
hi, I am a high school student and my assignment is to comment on something. I thought yours was very funny especially number 16 and 11.
Rita Sloan says:
Oct 18, 2020
Loved this. I’ve met Pookie. My dog, Triscuit, would look at Pookie and just turn and walk away. There’s no use engaging Pookie in conversation.
Vickie says:
Mar 7, 2023
Hilarious!
Isabella says:
May 29, 2023
I completely agree! It’s quite amusing to see those owners at the beach, constantly shouting at their dogs. It adds a unique element of entertainment to the beach experience. Despite the occasional chaos, it somehow makes the beach even more enjoyable and lively.