1. He’s friendly.
2. He never does that.
3. That’s his way of playing.
4. He’s still learning.
5. Pookie, come here.
6. He’s not so good on recall.
7. Pookie’s still learning how to listen, isn’t he?
8. Watch out for his leash!
9. Pookie, come! Come, Pookie! Are you listening? If you don’t come right now, Pookie, we’re going to have to leave the park. Do you want to leave the park, Pookie?
10. I’ve never seen him do that before.
11. That’s his play growl. Pookie loves to play.
12. It’s best not to look him in the eye.
13. Pookie, you’ve got the lady all tangled up in your leash!
14. No jumping, Pookie.
15. Pookie just wants to give kisses, don’t you, Pookie?
16. He’s a jumper.
17. Did Pookie get mud on the lady with those big muddy paws?
18. Pookie, no!
19. Usually, he likes kids.
20. Pookie, I said no!
—
Lise Funderburg is the author of Pig Candy: Taking My Father South, Taking My Father Home, a contemplation of life, death, race, and barbecue, and the groundbreaking oral history, Black, White, Other: Biracial Americans Talk About Race and Identity, which was recently released in an updated 20th anniversary edition. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Chattahoochee Review, Cleaver, National Geographic, TIME, and Prevention. She is a lecturer in creative nonfiction at The University of Pennsylvania and Rutgers University.
Photo by Dinty W. Moore
this is perfect. I laughed about 20 times.
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Love this. I think I’ve met Pookie.
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Absolutely perfect. And what about the owners who spend all their time at the beach, yelling at the dog. Love that. Makes the beach so much fun.
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Fabulous! I laughed out loud. I avoid any dogs whose owners say “Oh, don’t worry. . .”
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Loved it. I have scars to prove that dog does bite. Don’t listen to the owners.
You’ve hit the nail on the head.
Suzy Beal
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I’ve heard all these comments but never found the humor in them until I read this piece. Well done.
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#12. I’m dying here.
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Oh, this is so true!
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I have a question was this a list of excuses or a conversation with another dog owner?
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because without the bullet points it seems like a conversation
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Hi Emma. This was a list of things I’ve heard people say (repeatedly) over the years. So it was a collection of comments from multiple incidents/experiences.
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I love this. I think I actually own Pookie. Sorry everyone.
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Delightful! I can only add one which is just “Pookie….” “Pookie…” “POOOkie…” ad infinitem.
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When a dog owner has to say “Sorry!” every time they run their dog, it’s time to put a leash on it.
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POOKIE!
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Lise, I loved this! Reminded me of walking by the dog park(s?) in Carl Schurz Park and just in general in the parks and sidewalks of the UES when I lived there. So sorry to have missed hearing/seeing you this weekend, but love reading this now.
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hi, I am a high school student and my assignment is to comment on something. I thought yours was very funny especially number 16 and 11.
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Loved this. I’ve met Pookie. My dog, Triscuit, would look at Pookie and just turn and walk away. There’s no use engaging Pookie in conversation.
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