I pick up my cell phone when I see it’s my mom.
MeeSHYAH
I can tell by the way she says my name, something is wrong. My name, unpronounceable for her, the vowels moonbouncing on her tongue until they lose balance and fall over. And the consonant sound that would make her English stand upright: the Ls forever out-of-reach.
MeeSHYAH
My mother is dying: cancer of the blood, failing kidneys, broken spirit, homeless ghost. All are her ailments. She calls me on my phone because she doesn’t have the strength to call to my dad who spends most of his time downstairs. Much of her life must have felt as though she was always out of earshot.
MeeSHYAH
I have often wondered what my mom thinks when she says my name. I also wonder if this is where her frustration with me begins, at her inability to say my name (mother-to-daughter “bad connection”), because she gave me a foreign name that she cannot pronounce.
“Michael”
The name of the ambulance driver on the military base in Seoul who rushed my mother to the hospital through a raging blizzard just in time for my mother to give birth to me. (When my mother’s labor pains started, my father told my mother to wait until the football game—probably the Super Bowl—was over.) This ambulance driver held my mother’s hand as my mother screamed in pain, me pushing out into the world, refusing to wait any longer. When she got to the hospital, as she was being wheeled off the ambulance, she asked him his name:
“Michael,” he answered.
“I am going to name my baby after you.”
But I was born a girl.
MAHeekul
My brother born one year five months later was given the name “Michael.”
My mother says my brother’s name in almost perfect English.
MeeSHYAH
MAHeekul
When my brother and I were little, my mom wrote our names in Korean on the Christmas presents so that, when we woke up extra-early on Christmas morning and snooped through the gifts under the tree, we wouldn’t know which gifts were ours. I remember how her slender back would bend over the gifts under the lighted tree to read what only she could, and we were breathless with anticipation until the moment my mom placed the gift directly in our hands. My name written phonetically in Korean:
I wonder if this is how my mom sees my name in her head. Or does she only see my face. Or maybe she sees nothing at all.
MeeSHYAH
My Name. Written the way my mother says it. All my life I hated the sound.
MeeSHYAH
Now I save my mom’s voice messages so that I can listen to her say my name long after she is gone.
In memory of my mom, Myong Pok Myers
___
Michelle Myers is an award-winning poet, activist, and educator. She has performed at many distinguished venues, including the Kennedy Center, Brooklyn Academy of Music, Bowery Poetry Club, and Japanese American National Museum. Through her writing, Myers draws from her experiences as a biracial Korean American woman and hopes to take audiences on a journey that educates, inspires, and transforms. Learn more at: www.michellemyerspoet.com
15 comments
Jan Priddy says:
May 5, 2020
Well. You made me cry. That painful mix of childhood resentment and absolute love. Thank you.
Tony Tallent says:
May 9, 2020
Indeed and agree. A defined cadence to this story that deepens its impact.
Michelle Myers says:
May 15, 2020
Thank you so much for your comment, Tony. This essay started as a spoken word poem which I altered slightly for Brevity. I’m so glad to hear that you feel the cadence adds to the emotional presence of the piece. Sending peace and light, Michelle
Michelle Myers says:
May 15, 2020
Dear Jan, Thank you so much for your comment and for reading my piece. Thank you for helping me to keep my mom’s memory alive. Sending peace and light, Michelle
Michelle Myers says:
May 15, 2020
Dear Jan, I think I may have clicked “Reply” to the wrong person when I originally sent my message to you. I’m so sorry–I’m trying again. Thank you so much for your comment and for reading my essay. Thank you for understanding the complex love being expressed in the piece and for helping me to keep my mom’s memory alive. Sending peace and light, Michelle
Phyllis says:
May 11, 2020
Definitely brought tears to my eyes. Well done on this story.
Michelle Myers says:
May 15, 2020
Dear Phyllis, Thank you so much for your comment. It means a lot to me that you could feel the emotions in my essay. Sending peace and light, Michelle
Debbie says:
May 16, 2020
I am blessed to have heard you perform this poem. I cried then and am tearful now. Such emotion for the love and loss of your Mother.
Michelle Myers says:
May 18, 2020
Thank you so much, Debbie. It means so much to me–thank for all your support over the years and for listening to me in all of the ways that I have shared my heart about my mom <3
Debra says:
Jun 28, 2020
This is beautiful, and I am hoping to share it with my students this fall when we talk about the power of names/naming…
Michelle Myers says:
Aug 13, 2020
Hi Debra, thank you so much for your comment. I would love it if you shared this piece with your students. In addition to thinking about their own names and the power of naming, I hope your students also discover a new-found love for their parents. Our parents gave us–their children–so much of themselves. And we can never truly know just how much they sacrificed their hopes and dreams for themselves so that we could have our own lives and futures. Thank you again for considering sharing my essay with your students. Please let me know if I can help in any way. Sending peace and light, Michelle
Denise Dion says:
Sep 5, 2020
Not much thaws the frozen grief…… then along comes your brevity masterpiece.
MeeSHYAH thank you
Michelle Myers says:
May 4, 2021
Denise, sorry for my late reply–it’s been a hectic year of teaching. Thank you so much for your kind words. I get the sense that you can personally understand the grief that I express in this piece regarding the loss of my mom. I hope in sharing our grief even for just a brief moment, we were able to hold a virtual space of support and comfort. Sending love and light, Michelle.
Jean says:
Sep 7, 2020
Thank you for an emotional story. I hope to do a good job of submitting an assignment where we analyze and respond to a creative nonfiction essay for school. I am an adult learner and a military wife. I have a grown daughter and I feel we have drifted far from each other. I hope she could be proud of her Asian mom, too.
Michelle Myers says:
May 4, 2021
Jean, I’m very sorry for my late reply–I’ve been caught up with online teaching since September, and my life has been overwhelmed with prepping for classes and grading assignments. Thank you so much for sharing with me about your daughter. I’m very sorry that the two of you have drifted apart. I hope that the ebbs and flows of life bring you close to each other once again. After my mom passed away, a friend of mine shared a beautiful passage about how it’s a miracle that our mothers are our mothers–that we are like grains of sand on a beach and how wondrous that we two grains of sand shared the same space in the time that we had. I hope that one day you and your daughter are able to cherish each other’s presence in your lives once again. I also hope you did well on your assignment. Sending love and light, Michelle.